Robert

Yesterday, I put myself in time-out in my room 'cause I was really grumpy and I've learned to recognize that when that happens, I'm likely to say things that I will later regret. Late late at night six years from now, it will come to me and I will obsess over it and how it was the worst parenting thing I've done and what has resulted from this incident and how it will likely ruin my children's lives.

Robert came in the room, lay down on the bed next to me and hugged me and asked if I was ok. This was 40 min after I stormed into my room, and not the first time he'd checked on me. He's learning when and how to approach the potentially volatile person that I can be. I hope that I'm learning about him as adeptly.

His graceful bearing and kind and patient disposition often give me ample of material for reflection. At one point in my life, I would've berated myself for not being worthy nor deserving of such a wonderful man. At another point in my life, I would've merely considered his behavior and nature an expectation. Other times I may not have even noticed any of it except when it inconvenienced me. However, I view our relationship in none of these ways. We are equals. Do I know that I'm lucky? Hell yeah I do. I've had the good fortune to be truly in love two other times in my life and I get it....finally. Do I know how I ended up with such good karma? No, and I've learned not to ask that question since it will result in either depression and feelings of unworthiness, or an over-inflated ego. I have no time for either. But am I appreciative of it? YES!

So here are some silly things that I appreciate about life with Robert:

I love that when I climb into bed and am freezing, he'll let me put the cold part of me up against his insanely warm body. Even if he's already asleep.

I love his feet. That being said I need to mention that they are sort of like hobbitses feet; big, but not as hairy. His toes are kinda thick and I often look at them and wonder what it would be like to walk with them. The bottom of his feet are relatively flat and super super soft! But the very best part about them is that I get to rub my feet on the bottom of his, at night before I fall asleep. Or in the middle of the night. Even if I'm on the far side of the bed, my feet will capture his feet and bring them over to my side for rubbing. Apparently I do it without realizing it. He usually endures this good naturedly and even finds it endearing. Yay me!

I am enamored with his long dark wavy hair. I decadently run my fingers through it whenever I can and love the way it smells. I love snuggling with him and having my face in his hair. I enjoy brushing it and contrary to his joking, he's NOT my Barbie doll! Lol! I find his hair quite attractive and I tease him that the grey he has (in Dave Vanian style) is actually tinsel. It sparkles and I love sparkly things. 

When he smiles that loving-smile or that enjoying-alone-time smile, or the catching-me-looking-at-him smile, or the I'm-being-silly smile,  his green eyes crinkle so nicely and his long thick eyelashes curling and sparkling, are waving at me. He has lovely laugh lines that radiate from his happy eyes. He doesn't have any frowny lines or worry lines. Around his mouth he has more smiley lines. His face tells quite a happy story.

He serenades (me?) randomly with the most eclectic mixture of songs. Just now he sat up on the couch and started with the first few lines of the Humpty Dance song. Who knows this song?!! In our morning shower, he sings random snippets of songs that usually end up in my head for the rest of the day. He has no prejudice against any decade nor genre. My favorites are the goofy ones that have us giggling like little kids. This morning it was Lets Dance. He used to surprise me by belting out Neil Diamond songs......yeah, Neil Diamond.

Robert really plays with my kids and has genuine important conversations with them. He has the regular kind of conversations, and even the parenting type. Sometimes he even does the disciplining. He actually listens to them and enjoys their company. Mind you my girls are 20, 16 and 9 years old. That's a wide variety of interests and personalities. He loves my girls. He thinks I have done/am doing a great job of raising them. I don't have to force him to be interested in them. I love that. He's such a good male role model for them too. Unfortunately they haven't had any strong, moral, positive men in their lives. My bad. Dasya thinks he's the best thing to ever happen to our family and she loves him as her father. She tells him this and he cries in joy. Amarantha has had a harder time accepting him, or I should say giving up the bad male influences. While it's been rough sometimes during these past year, she recognizes and appreciates him as her stepfather. Devani just loves him and keeps asking when we're gonna get married!

He never minded me calling him late at night throughout the years before we were together.

Robert is a hard worker. He strives to provide everything for our family that we can think of. He has strong work ethics and morals. He's not lazy or lacking in motivation. He's been so incredibly supportive of me during my illnesses and physical ailments. I cant work most of the time, yet he doesn't resent me for it. He just focuses on working harder. Some days he carries me- literally- because I cant walk. He holds my back when I sneeze because he knows how much it hurts me. He opens the doors for me constantly. He reminds me of when I'm pushing my body too hard and sometimes has actually stopped me for my own sake.

I love watching him shave. He does it every day so he isn't scruffy or dirty appearing. The faces he makes are funny and endearing. He is meticulous about his appearance and always looks great. Of course, I may be biased.

He's always on time- never late. I'm usually always late.

He introduces me to super cool tv series. I never watch tv, but he does. We both have the same tastes in genres and styles when it comes to tv, books and music. There are differences that we introduce each other to and that's so cool. We can have intelligent conversations about world events or philosophy.

I really enjoy riding on the back of his motorcycle. He is an absolutely safe driver and I have complete confidence and trust in him. I like the adrenaline rush when we go fast but I close my eyes when we lean deeply in the curves. I often take pictures when we ride and I listen to music. I love being a passenger because I get to experience everything! I did buy a motorcycle this spring and he is teaching me how to ride. He is thorough, patient and supportive.

He babies me when I'm sick because I don't do sick very gracefully. He makes sure that I have movies to watch and makes food for me.

When I overspend, he bails me out and handles my embarrassment gracefully. I get overly sensitive about money issues, but he puts up with it and doesn't call me on it because he knows I already feel awful.

He can play video games for hours, but still manage to be involved in the family around him. He doesn't tune us out, or ignore us.

Our cars stay running well, our house stays in good condition, our computers are safe and any other thing that needs to be fixed, gets fixed. He's super handy at all the guy stuff. This is good because I couldn't care less about this stuff, so it tends to get ignored.

I LOVE taking pictures and I do it every day and of all sorts of things. He has gotten used to me yelling, "STOP!" when we're driving, so I can get a picture....and he stops. He is a frequent subject and doesn't mind. He endures my slow camera on one of my cell phones.


All the time he tells me I'm adorable or cute, or beautiful. He touches me all the time, in small ways. He complements me many times every day. He calls me by sweet names. I know that he loves me because of the way he treats me. I appreciate all of these things and all the other things that happen in our daily life. I see everything that he does and I'm so thankful for him. My life is wonderful and interesting and I have my best friend to share it with.